No Rule

[.Turbo]

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No Rule

The dark alley of quietness and seldom disruption runs between the loudness of the city,
Beneath the pollution-purple sky stands a figure, a silhouette, of a troubled being,
The aura of stillness and no-sound is broken when the man's feet clang against the metal ladder,
Thoughts rush in and out his mind, *too much to handle*, he must escape this; *i must get out*,
The sound= wind and sirens which penetrate his head, like a sharp, loud noise,
Behind him stands his former self, a head-strong male with aspirations, the shadow disappears as he walks beneath a roof-top light,
Two tears seep from the tired eyes and a glint of light shows hope,
Then he proceeds the the edge of the roof-top *no more pain*;
The figure contemplates, makes up his mind, jumps. *free from emotion*

But the gun shoots, his family is dead; the gunman is tackled by the figure and is shot;
The man walks into an dark alley.
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[Handbagstory]

Pretty nice actually. Easy to read.
Nicely written, only the sentences are a bit long.

[Wrighteous]

pretty good imagery here primer... work on flow though, some of these lines should be less wordy, or all should be the same

[SaIRoS]

i like the detailed description of the man, very nice

[flymo]

Love the imagry used here.

[douf]

sounded like a line from Sin City or some comic, but pretty hardcore indeed