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mizfish
01-12-2008, 04:22 PM
one of mine.....

The Bumble Bee

The sun slowly sank on a cold autumn's eve,
when the flower took courage, and called to the bee.
in a voice filled with fear, and a heart filled with pain,
in the shadows came hushed words, that scattered like rain...

"why do you ignore me?" she asked of the bee
"why can you not love me, and let me be free?
i call to you. long for your lingering touch.
why do you avoid me and hurt me so much?"

she took a great breath, as the words tumbled free,
"please touch me, and save me." she begged of the bee.

in silence he circled, began his descent,
to a petal now faded, and torn at the edge.
he spoke in a soft voice, his eyes crystal clear.
he savoured the whispers. he savoured the fear.

"your petals are fading," he said to the flower.
"your scent's all but gone now. in shadows you cower.
your beauty is lost, as the sun leaves the sky.
but always remember, your heart never dies."

"i came to you flower, as sleep kept you safe,
and scattered your love to a heavenly place.
your beautiful scent now remains here with me.
in darkess i touched you, and set your soul free."

faust.
01-12-2008, 04:26 PM
pretty good actually

good job

Handbagstory
01-12-2008, 04:28 PM
I agree, it's good =]

darklord_xd
01-12-2008, 04:32 PM
nice poetry ^^

.Turbo
01-13-2008, 01:49 AM
way too peaceful for me, but it's good.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/b/be/300px-BFfourbars.jpg

griffinax
01-13-2008, 01:51 AM
0mg, eminem called me, he just wrote his new lyrics, and amazingly, its exactly the same as your poem,
really nice one susie, i like it :D

bbob
01-17-2008, 09:00 PM
Wow, nice one..

Plan-B
01-17-2008, 09:25 PM
beautifull